Setting boundaries is key to healthy relationships, self-respect, and emotional wellbeing. Yet many people struggle with them, whether they feel guilty for saying no or don’t know where to start.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries define what is and isn’t acceptable in our interactions. They protect our mental, emotional, and physical space, helping us feel safe, respected, and controlled. Healthy boundaries allow us to connect with others without sacrificing our wellbeing.
Signs You Might Need Stronger Boundaries
Do your boundaries need work? Here are some common signs:
- You feel drained or resentful after interactions – If certain relationships leave you exhausted, your boundaries may not be strong enough.
- You struggle to say no – Saying yes when you mean no can lead to stress and burnout.
- You put others’ needs before your own – Prioritising everyone else at your own expense is a sign that boundaries need reinforcing.
- You feel anxious or guilty when setting limits – If asserting yourself makes you feel bad, it may be because you’re used to overextending yourself.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries
- Identify Your Limits – Reflect on what makes you uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Recognising your limits helps you set clear expectations.
- Communicate Clearly – Express your boundaries directly but kindly. You don’t need to overexplain or justify your needs.
- Be Consistent – People may test your boundaries, but staying firm reinforces respect for them.
- Let Go of Guilt – Setting boundaries isn’t selfish – it’s essential for self-care and mental wellbeing.
Useful Links & Resources
- How to Set Boundaries – Saying No (Free Download)
- The Gottman Institute: Setting Boundaries in Relationships
- Book Recommendation: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Final Thoughts
Boundaries are an act of self-care and a way to create healthier relationships. If you’d like to explore this further, therapy can help you build confidence in setting and maintaining them. Feel free to reach out for support.
